"Ghoulish safety advice" from police on Halloween

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Likely the most entertaining press release I've ever received from the police department, below is GPD's public service announcement about Halloween. I can't help but laugh at the attempt to tell teenagers what's cool (as if adults have ever had say in that). I also wonder why it says you should never hurt a "helpless living thing" instead of just any living thing, and why they feel the need to tell adults to make sure their car has enough gas, but anyway...


  Greensboro Police Give Ghoulish Safety Advice

GREENSBORO, NC (October 26, 2012) –Greensboro police are warning residents of strange activity and unusual creatures in and around Gate City neighborhoods, with oddness and frivolity expected to culminate on October 31^st. Already communities are experiencing elaborate displays of jack o ‘lanterns, skeletons and black cats. Princesses have been spotted mingling with zombies; superheroes are joining forces with ghosts; and, there is an overabundance of candy consumption throughout the jurisdiction.It must be Halloween! Attending costume parties, trick-or-treating, and playing harmless pranks can be fun. (Cue scary music.) But, evil and harm can be lurking amidst all the festivities. (Cut scary music.)   You can evade wickedness and get back to your castle safely by casting these good spells!
Youngsters ·        Don’t eat your treats until you get them inspected at home. Let an adult empty out your goody bag on a clean surface and examine each treat. If something is wrong with the candy – don’t second guess yourself – throw it out.  Eating the wrong thing will make you feel a little ghoulish!·        Wear a good fire resistant costume. Just make sure you can see and breathe through your mask. Bumping into walls is not cool.·        You should be comfortable in your costume. It shouldn’t be so tight that you can’t move normally. It shouldn’t be too loose either. Tripping is a very bad wardrobe malfunction.·        Put reflective markings on your costume. Make sure you or an adult carry a flashlight or a glow stick so you can be seen.·        Stay in well-lit, familiar territory and don’t venture out into isolated areas. Creepy things hang out where it is dark.·        Use sidewalks and crosswalks where available. Don’t run into the street.
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Teens·        If you are an older kid or young teen, and going out with friends, make sure that your parents know where you are going and who you are going with. This may seem like a pain but they are your parents and they love you. They just want you to be safe.·        Never go out alone. Don’t become a target for someone to do bad things to you.·        If your parents give you a curfew, be home when they say. It builds trust between you and them and they are doing it for your own safety. If you are going to be late, call and let them know.·        Vandalism is never cool! Throwing eggs at cars and houses is not cool. Someone has to clean it up and it could be you, if you get caught. You can also be arrested and punished as a juvenile. So, don't think that it's fun only if you can get away with it. It's never the right thing to do! Think about how you would feel if someone did that to your house.·        Hurting animals is never acceptable! Some people use Halloween as an excuse to hurt cats - and that is just wrong! Not only is it illegal and punishable by law, you should never hurt a helpless living thing.
Adults·        If you are driving a bunch of friends to a party, make sure that you have enough gas to get there. You don't want to run out on a dark street, all alone, like a bad horror movie!·        Drive very slowly where kids are trick or treating. Little monsters may run into the street unexpectedly.·        Not a fan of trick or treating? Have an event at home or attend one sponsored by a school or community center. If you are serving alcohol, be a responsible host. Don’t allow your guests to drive impaired.·        Have a family communication plan. You need to know where your kids are going to have fun and they need to know where you are also. Call and keep in touch.·        Don’t re-live your childhood – this is not the time to make crazy dares or engage in wild pranks. Not only could you get hurt, you could be held liable for damaging someone’s property.·        Drinking exotic concoctions may be ghoulishly wicked, but don’t overdo it. Always plan ahead to have a designated driver. Broom sticks and magic carpets included.


            Whether attending a late night showing of a scary movie, going to a monster bash party or venturing out into the night, Greensboro police want everyone to have a safe and fun Halloween.