Ten best things I've seen lately

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This list didn’t quite make the cut for inclusion in tomorrow’s paper, in part because I don’t have enough to say about each item, but these nuggets were too good not to share.
Trucker and teddyDriving along I-73 in southern Greensboro, I noticed an unusually fuzzy passenger riding shotgun with a trucker out of Illinois. Safety first: he had even taken the time to buckle the carnival-size teddy bear’s seatbelt.
Passing signsThere is a place in Pennsylvania very appropriately (yes, really) named “Paradise” where I passed a sign for “Meat bingo.” Say no more. Further along my drive from Philadelphia back to Greensboro not far from Roanoke, I passed an even more puzzling sign: “We sell Ashley.” I’ve know what Molly, Keisha, Becky and Mary Jane are, but what the $%&* is Ashley?
Dyke IndustriesThe wholesale building supplies truck for Dyke Industries drove by my house last week. Really people?

Road killMy first year of college somekids were visiting a student in my dorm, and since their momma told them tobring a gift when you crash with someone, they grabbed a dead raccoon out ofthe road and decided to skin it in our common area. I’m pretty sure I’ve seenit before, but the bumper sticker on a car on Tate Street reading “Eat morepossum” reminded me of the foul smelling encounter during my first year inGreensboro.
Monkey businessIf you read our blogregularly you probably saw the photo I put up of the gigantic purple monkeythat was attached to the top of a telephone poll on High Point Road near ouroffice. Then, as mysteriously as it came it was gone one day. Maybe it migratedsouth for the winter.
I wish I were a...High Point Road has more tooffer than monkeys — today Brian and I saw the Oscar Meyer truck cruisingalong, undoubtedly one of the most phallic things we’ve ever seen. The wellendowed hot dog mobile isn’t exactly a food truck, but it was more fleetingthan the monkey and we didn’t even have time to snap a picture.
Hulk HoganI don’t know if he wasdressed up for a look-alike contest or if this dude just really lovedprofessional wrestling, but he must have known what he was doing. Sitting onthe curb outside of a closed sports bar, this Hulk Hogan wannabe was sporting awhite handlebar moustache and a yellow bandana on his head, briefly making eyecontact with me as I drove by.
HaircutsIt was raining and I was fullof carnival food, but the only thing I could think about at the CarolinaCountry Fair was how incredible the haircuts were. Not exactly where you’dthink to go in order to see the freshest fades. I was briefly distracted by thecamels and a kid who must have been 12, rocking a shirt that said, “Great storybabe, now go make me a sandwich,” and we couldn’t decide if we were moredisgusted by him or the girl on his arm who must have seen through to this badboy’s soft side.
Gas guitarI don’t know why I always paycash when I buy gasoline, but the compulsion puts me in contact with people Imight not otherwise run into. Like the guy at the Hess station on BattlegroundAvenue, sporting a cowboy hat and a guitar around his neck on a string— you know, in case he just really needed to jam out while he waitedbehind me to buy a Four Loco.
Bill WaltonBasketball legend Bill Waltonwished me a happy birthday last night. The whole story, and the video to proveit, will be up here shortly.